


imprinted

by sciencebluefeelings



Series: Galaxies Apart [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Telepathic Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:33:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22296376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sciencebluefeelings/pseuds/sciencebluefeelings
Summary: Ambassador Spock already found it painful to wait for his bondmate.Then the pain manifested into physical agony that could not be ignored.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock Prime
Series: Galaxies Apart [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1683568
Comments: 12
Kudos: 71





	imprinted

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for fandomwip's weekly prompt, the prompts this week were: "Insecurity/Exhaustion"

The pain that burst in his lower side was severe and abrupt.

The desk assistant yelped as Spock collapsed to the floor. The Romulan ambassador who shared the embassy office with Spock briskly strode over, ordering the assistant to call emergency care.

Spock remembered hearing the blare of sirens through a haze of fog-like pain.

He had called Jim two nights ago, but the captain had been busy and could only stay on call for a brief period of time.

As darkness took over, he regretted not being able to properly say farewell to the man he had the privilege of loving once more.

The Romulan healer lowered his medical scanner. "Your bondmate, Ambassador. How long has it been since you have been in physical contact with them?"

Spock's mind was still reeling as he lay inside the medical pod. "One point three years," he managed to say. "He is the captain of a Federation flagship. There have always been expanses of physical separation in our relationship."

"When were you bonded?"

"Two point two days before the last time I was in physical contact with him."

The healer turned off the tricorder. "Symptoms indicate a classic case of Vulcan bond drain, Ambassador. When you are separated too early after a bond is formed, there is a high probability of potent withdrawal effects. It is not life threatening, merely highly unpleasant. The condition will instantly be alleviated when you are in physical contact with him." 

Spock sat up and resisted the urge to rub the bridge of his nose. "You will not prescribe painkillers?"

"It is a simple matter to go and touch him, Ambassador." The healer gestured towards the door in dismissal.

Spock slowly put on his sandals and walked outside the hospital. He stopped outside the doors in the cloudy sunlight. "I do not think it will be quite so simple," he said to no one.

His weary heart throbbed in his side.

Spock's suspicions were confirmed when it was Doctor McCoy, not Jim, who answered the call. "Doctor," Spock greeted him in the most neutral tone he could muster.

The doctor was immediately receptive to Spock's tone of voice. "Ambassador, are you alright?"

The caring words of the doctor offered meager relief from the dizzying hurt in Spock's lower side. Spock explained Vulcan bond drain to the doctor, whose expression grew more agitated.

"We've got a problem here, Ambassador. Jim's deep in a highly sensitive operation. It took us months to set up and get a lead. If he backs out now, we may never get another chance."

"It is alright," Spock said, even as the pain made him gasp and wince as it pulsed. "The mission should not be compromised for my sake."

The doctor's frown deepened. "Ambassador."

"No, do not inform Jim of this." Spock grimaced. "He will unnecessarily be compelled to return. I am in no danger from this condition."

"Are you taking any painkillers?"

"Yes. They are doing little to alleviate the symptoms. I have stopped using them."

The doctor blew out a long breath, looking harried. "I'm sorry I can't do more."

"It will be alright, Doctor. Simply hearing your voice is a welcome distraction from the pain."

Doctor McCoy still looked dissatisfied. "You're still on Romulus, right? Are you well enough to travel? If I could get a look at you in person, maybe I could figure something out."

The thought of even leaving the safety of his quarters made Spock nauseous. "I will wait at my house for the duration of the operation."

The doctor shook his head. "Call me if you need anything."

"Thank you, Doctor. I shall do so." They ended the call. Spock changed the sonic shower setting to water and turned the heat up as high as possible. 

Spock focused on keeping his breathing steady as the water ran down his skin, feeling the steam filling his lungs with each breath. The pain was still like a shard of ice burying into his side, pouring frigid cold up through his blood and nerves.

The oppressive, longing sensation reminded Spock of pon farr in a strange, distorted fashion. At that moment, Spock wanted nothing more than to feel his lover's warmth and gentle touch.

Spock squeezed his eyes shut and desperately tried to remember the last moments he had spent in Jim's embrace, but the pain dulled the details of the memory. Spock could not even remember what Jim had said.

Spock's movements were languid as he left the shower and dried himself. He slipped into a sleep robe and lay above the covers of his bed, feeling the most miserable he had felt in a very, very long time. 

After Nero had been successfully defeated, what remained of the Vulcan council had declared Spock exiled from their race and new planet. Jim had been enraged, but Spock accepted the mandate without resistance. He declined the young captain's offer to join him and his crew on the _Enterprise_. He did not wish to see Jim fall in love with his counterpart and happily begin their life together.

Spock spent a few years wandering the galaxy before he ended up finding permanent residence on Romulus. He had kept his presence small and unassuming as he lived out each day one after another.

Spock remembered the first night he had spent in this house, lying with his eyes open in the dark, missing his home more than ever - the crew of the _Enterprise_ in his own reality. He had not slept for several days, eventually falling asleep sitting up on a couch in the main room.

Spock curled up tighter, already anticipating a repeat of the sleepless nights spent before. Was Jim truly on a secret operation? Had Jim come to secretly resent Spock while he was unaware?

Perhaps Jim had never really wanted him. Jim had confirmed unprompted in the past that he had never pursued the Spock of this universe romantically, but perhaps he had changed his mind. Perhaps he had merely pitied Spock, a lonely old man. Jim must have finally come to his senses and realized he no longer desired Spock. He could have ordered Doctor McCoy to lie to Spock and deter any further interaction.

Spock swallowed. There was no reason to doubt the noble doctor, or Jim's loyalty and affection. Jim was even his bondmate now.

Nevertheless, Spock felt worry and guilt cloying his tongue and the back of his mouth. Spock had chained the aspiring, bright, and young captain into a permanent relationship with himself. How Jim must resent him.

Spock buried his face into the pillow, wrapping his robe tighter around his body. The anxiety was like a vice tightening his throat until he couldn't breathe.

McCoy's earlier offer floated into his mind, a small beacon in the frantic darkness. Spock didn't want to be any more of a bother. He could wait until the throbbing, overwhelming pain causes him to eventually pass out from sheer exhaustion.

Spock made a noise in the back of his throat and heaved himself out of bed. If he did not ask for help, the doctor would find some way to blame himself. It was a marvelous, exasperating feat that followed all Doctor McCoy's Spock has had the pleasure of encountering thus far.

Spock sat heavily in front of the monitor. "Call Doctor McCoy," he barely managed to say.

The blinding light from the monitor illuminated the entire room. Spock blinked at the concerned doctor's face filling the screen. "Ambassador?"

Doctor McCoy's gentle voice made Spock's breath catch. His chest was clenched tight and he could not draw in breath.

"Spock."

Something fell from the side of Spock's nose and he realized he was crying. "I'm sorry to bother you, Doctor." Spock struggled to breathe. "I did not mean to approach you with such a display."

"Spock. Listen to me. Jim and your counterpart are on Jordeno right now, in the capital. They contacted us twenty minutes ago right on the dot. If things go well, they'll get the necessary documents in less than eight standard days. They're all are gonna get back safely, they have Hendorff and Uhura in their team."

"Please keep talking, Doctor. Say anything." Spock is resting his head on the desk, shivering despite the heat.

"Uh, well. Do you want to hear the captain's voice, Spock? We have the log recordings, I could bring them up for you right now."

The option was alluring, and yet the thought of hearing Jim's voice seemed like it would only serve to widen the gap Spock was feeling. "I would prefer to hear you speak, Doctor."

"That's all right. It's been quiet up here without those two disasters on board. I have so much I could tell you about what those two have been up to. Anyways. We've only had a mild burn today in the Med Bay this morning so far, one of the lieutenants got too close to an uncooled thermal wrench and I've told those idiots one too many times to keep them organized in their properly labeled receptacles, but noo, they have to leave them lying all around like they wouldn't survive a day without something breaking safety regulations-"

The doctor continued to ramble and Spock listened quietly.

The doctor was as meticulous in this universe as he was in Spock's own. He spoke diligently and incessantly, not giving Spock a moment to be alone with his frantic, irrational thoughts. He talked about Jim and Spock, about their days at the academy, then about their various adventures while exploring the galaxies. He talked and talked until his throat was raw.

Spock was concerned with the length of detailed attention the doctor had kept trained on him, and encouraged the doctor to go care for his own needs first.

"You cannot speak to me forever," Spock said. "You must sleep."

"Yeah, well," the doctor grunted, typing into the PADD. "You can't be left alone, either."

"Doctor," Spock murmured.

"Now, where was I?" The doctor began reading from the PADD book reader again, and Spock was too weak to stop him.

It was an earth tale, a fable of some sort from a large collection. McCoy was less than halfway through.

"Ambassador!" Spock blinked at Mister Scott's cheerful tone. The engineer slapped Doctor McCoy on the back and gently pried the PADD away from him. "Have a good night, Doctor. How have you been, Ambassador?" Mister Scott beamed at the screen as the doctor's goodnight receded in the background.

"I have been well," Spock said, realization dawning on him. 

Mister Scott made an exaggerated motion of stretching. "I have the underlings handling the engine room this morning. What's the good doctor reading to you? West African Folktales? That sounds splendid. What say I finish reading these before I tell you what we've discovered here about your transwarp equation?"

"Mister Scott," Spock said quietly, "It sounds especially favorable."

Mister Scott nodded, satisfied by the response. 

The news had spread that there was an ongoing video call with Jim's elusive partner, the exiled Vulcan ambassador from the future.

Chekov was also enthusiastic in this universe, eager to talk about Russia and his entertaining misconceptions. Whenever he laughed, Spock knew that the claims of the ensign were not very serious.

Mister Sulu was always happy to talk about his plants and his family. Ben and Demora Sulu were jarring to Spock at first, a concrete reminder of the disparity of the strange new reality he had been deposited in, but Spock grew to appreciate them and what they meant to the charismatic pilot.

Spock only regretted that he could not appreciate their efforts more due to the excessive pain. He was deeply grateful to them all.

Spock would never tell anyone, but he found the most comfort in Doctor McCoy's voice with its slight rasp and bright timbre. The doctor always made sure to update Spock on the status of Jim, of the mission team separated from the _Enterprise_. He had taken to reading out his personal logs whenever it was his shift, and Spock received insight into the Joanna of this universe. McCoy said he would be pleased to introduce her to Spock, and Spock said he looked forward to their meeting.

Spock lost track of time. It was unclear how many days he had gone without sleep. Sulu was currently talking to Spock about the latest renovations being planned to Biome III when Doctor McCoy appeared onscreen.

"Sulu! Spock, they're coming onboard."

Spock tensed from where he was lying in the bed. After feeling the throbbing, anxiety-inducing pain overwhelm all other senses for the last couple days, it was hard to remember what it felt like without it.

"We haven't told him about your condition yet," the doctor says. He didn't need to elaborate.

Spock said weakly, "That is a wise decision."

"Yeah, we figured we shouldn't have the kid imploding from distress while we're on the way. As soon as the team beams up, we'll leave. Jim thinks we're coming to surprise you."

"We'll keep you updated on how far away we are," Sulu said. "Via comm text."

Spock agreed and ended the call. The silence of the room rang in his ears, deafening and suffocating at the same time. He should at least make himself presentable.

Spurred by the knowledge Jim would be there soon, Spock managed to take a thorough sonic shower and change into a new sleep robe. His comm pinged him incessantly. Sulu and the doctor were staying true to their promise and letting Spock know where they were in the galaxy.

McCoy mentioned Jim appeared to have noticed he was uncharacteristically preoccupied with his comm. Spock tucked the comm into his pocket.

He knew waiting pressed against the door would not expedite the process, yet he did so anyways.

Spock took out the comm and watched time tick down.

He was more sensitive than ever to his bondmate's energy approaching, mingling with the atmosphere, getting closer to him.

McCoy told Spock that they had docked and were requesting access.

The wait was unbearable.

Spock gasped audibly and yanked the door open before the tell-tale sounds of the transporter beam had ended.

"Jim," Spock says helplessly. "Jim."

"Spock?"

Spock couldn't help the whimper that escaped his lips. He rushed forward and collapsed into Jim's open arms, trusting that he would catch him. 

He did. The balming relief of his tight embrace was instant and Spock melted into the touch. He could feel the bond like a burst of sunlight, melting into every muscle and tendon of his body.

"Love, what's going on?" Jim tensed, ready to move Spock away as discreetly as possible. He looked confused by the mixed signals, with Spock's desperate touch combined with his lethargic, weak grasp. Jim lowered his voice. "It's not that time, is it?"

Spock couldn't respond. The newly acquired lack of pain was too overwhelming. He tilted his head up to catch the gaze of the crew in the background. They were all smiling and waving. Spock hoped his gratitude was evident in his gaze, because he could not express it in any other way.

Jim looked back at his crew, his worry mounting. "What's going on?"

Spock felt Jim's shock build as Doctor McCoy briefly explained Vulcan bond drain to him.

Jim's voice was tight. "How long has this been going on, exactly? And how long have you not told me?"

Before Spock could open his mouth, Jim pulled Spock inside the house and slammed the door closed. He pressed Spock up against the door with the full length of his body and kissed him deeply. 

Spock arched into him with desperate, raw need. Jim's anger and exasperation poured out of his skin.

"Your crew handled the situation to the best of their abilities." Spock pressed his face into Jim's neck and focused on the sensation of Jim's burning skin against his lashes. "Don't be too upset."

"I get why you did it. If you did anything else, you wouldn't be the stupid stubborn Vulcan I fell in love with." Jim was holding up almost all of Spock's body weight as the taller Vulcan slouched into his touch. "C'mon. Bedroom."

Spock kept his eyes closed as Jim gently guided them to the warmth of his private quarters. Jim arranged Spock under the covers before settling next to him. "God, it's been so long. Can I - ?" Jim tugged at the collar of the sleep robe, half-exposing a shoulder.

"Please," Spock murmured, already half-asleep. Jim gently undid the tie and removed the robe, placing it aside. Spock listened to the sounds of fabric against skin, of Jim undressing, before feeling Jim's skin pressed against Spock's bare back.

Jim's hand roamed intimately over Spock's inner thighs and stomach and chest, wherever he could reach. The bond pulsed with sluggish, enveloping warmth. Spock could feel the gravity of the planet pulling him into the pillow and mattress, the weight of Jim's trembling hand over his side.

"You know, I was wondering why they all wanted to come say hi to you."

Spock hummed. "I will be a more favorable host in the future. I hope to invite them at a more opportune time."

Jim huffed out a laugh and settled more closely into Spock, kissing his nape. "Sure. They all deserve a nice dinner party. And some hefty commendations."

Spock sighed. "Indeed."


End file.
